I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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