I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I want to have your abortion
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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