Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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