he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
