She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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