just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
