chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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