i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
