So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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