K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
