is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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