i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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