your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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