He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
