she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Everclear isn't food dammit
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
