you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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