You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
