connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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