don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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