Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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