I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
