A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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