i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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