dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
the night ended with taco bell and tears
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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