I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Randomize
