I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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