Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
