were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
