talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
