I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
