i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
