It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
