You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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