ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
