Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
