ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
