He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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