I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
