the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
