____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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