There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
