Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
