So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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