she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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