Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
