I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
