the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You were trust falling into bushes
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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