You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
