I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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