I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
