I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I would fuck him just for his dog
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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