Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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